You can run, but you can’t hide…

If I’ve learned anything up to this point in my life, I would really need to stop living vicariously through false happiness. In fact, it’s been such a lonely and daunting journey being in constant search of what I think might make me happy at the end of the day. As of late, I just feel exhausted. Short-term remedies have only masked the symptoms of an emptiness I seem to carry with me day after day. I have grown extremely tired of dragging my feet along and being a spectator of my own life. I am aware change is long overdue, but every step in the right direction seems to lead me back to where I’ve started, if not backward. How do I stop lying to myself and stop playing this charade? Who have I become in this brave new world? Have I ever really known who I have ever been thus far? Perhaps I’ve been going about life all the wrong ways and looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places. And if that is true, then what’s next on this spiraling emotional roller coaster? Help.